picture source

I guess I should be honest and tell you that I am not 100% ok. YES, I know what has to be done but this money stress has me…well…stressed. I am focusing on eating good for me foods. I am tracking my food using my new fitbook and while I am not the best tracker, I am working on it.

I am focusing on the early stages of my half marathon training.  As a total distraction and because my brain is moving in weird circles lately, typing half marathon made me thing of Ryan’s post today.  Should I even call it a half, Mr. NoMoreBacon says 13.1 miles should not be half anything~ but I am not sure what I want to call it. I am training for quite possibly the biggest challenge of my life…so far..so if it isn’t a half what is it!?! How do I refer to my training?I do not and will not call it a race. I am not a fast runner (not even close to being fast) and I still and probably always will use the run:walk method. I do not want to get caught up in trying to be fast. I just want to finish!

I am still fighting the funk. I am still exhausted. Little Miss Lucy has decided that 3am is a good time to play….for an hour! Ummm yeah! This is not conducive to getting up early for working out. I will figure this out. For now, I have only run once this week and I haven’t done any other real workouts. I have been working my butt off at work in the disgusting heat in a building with no air conditioning. I have been cleaning and moving furniture and boxes and books all around the school. Did I mention no air conditioning?!? I may not have logged any strength workout but I have been doing something. Not too impressive, huh?!?

BUT

I am making good-for-me food choices. I am moving and doing something. I am moving and running (ok, it was only once but that was just the beginning)! I have only worked out 1 of the first 3 days of my training. This upset me earlier but now I know I must keep moving forward. I cannot dwell on this “failure” but instead I must dwell on my amazing run yesterday (I will blog about my first run very soon).

My good friend, Jack tells me to just keep doing what I know is right. Day after day.  Day after day after day. I must keep on keepin’ on. Day after day.

Tonight, we finished dinner and I was just all the sudden tired. I was a bit thrown off by this tired because I actually slept in a bit this morning. While Lucy was up at 3am she slept until 7:20 which let me sleep until 7:20 which is a switch from our normal wake up call of 5:30-6ish. I was totally running late for work today but it was sooo worth it. I am tired so I will rest for tomorrow is another 3 mile training run. I did not get an official training workout completed today but I am going to be mindful of my body and right now it is saying it is tired and a tad uncoordinated.

I may not be perfect. My training may not be perfect. But I will keep on keepin’ on! I will keep fighting even at times when it is hard to keep fighting the invisible enemies. I will remain true to myself. It will not always be pretty and positive but it will always be real.

Tonight, while  I was looking for an image for this post,  I found this image: Keep Calm and Carry On.

That is all I got! All I can do!

I will embrace my  NOT-perfectness!!

Can you embrace your not-perfectness?!?

I know, you are sitting there wondering what happened to my break up with Weight Watchers.  There were many reasons for leaving WW and I do not regret my choice but when I was offered 3 months of online access to blog and participate in the Walk-it challenge I had to accept. {FTC- do ya’ll see, free} I will not be going to meetings and I am going to work on working the program but not letting it consume me. I love this walking challenge and I am so glad I am blogging about it again this year. This year, however, I am going to complete the running challenge.  I have already started to run and I like it. I have flounced around with a few different training plans and I have been less than consistent since I got sick a few weeks ago. WW’s Walk-It Challenge is just the spark I need to get my ass moving.

I should have started this training last week and I kind of did but not really.  I am a bit more advanced than week 1 and I was in a funk so I am going to start at week 2 this week. That means I will be ready for my first running 5K on June 6th – Weight Watcher’s Official Walk-It Day. I really wanted to run this at an official WW event but there are no official WW events in New Jersey at all and the closest even is easily 2 hours away.

What does a girl do?

Well, she decides that there will be a 5K right in her backyard….ok not literally but close enough.

I’m walkin, yes indeed and I’m talkin bout you and me
I’m hopin that you’ll come back to me, uh uh

I have decided that I will start recruiting people (virtually and in real life) to join me in walking or running training and complete a 5K on June 6th. I live one block from a very nice bike path or we could use one of the boardwalks (Atlantic City or Ocean City more than likely).  I am going to go back to my old WW meeting next Saturday and recruit my friends to walk or run with me for the Walk-It Day.

AND, Big Man has started the walking training program. I am so excited that my husband is taking an active role in fixing his health.  I love when we go out to the bike path together. We only start together but we are together….ya know?!?

Do you want to train with me?!?! Will you walk or run a 5K (either an actual event or your own mapped out course) on June 6th?

How did I work my goals this week?!

1. Lose 5 pounds per month – I lost 14 pounds over the last 10 weeks. Success!! I have changed my whole outlook on the scale. Fuck it!! The scale is just one piece of the puzzle and I am not living my life according to the scale.  I want to be healthy and strong and that is not any particular number on the scale!

2. Walk 15 miles each week - since starting the Couch to 5K my mileage has decreased! At first, this bothered me! I set a goal and I wanted to keep to it!! On non-”running” days I was walking with Leslie Sansone at least 3 miles. I was so exhausted and my legs were not very happy with me. I have since scaled my mileage back and I am letting my body tell me what it can handle. I did walk with my girlfriends last Saturday and we hit almost 4 miles. I am still getting around 10 miles each week. I am calling this a work in progress! and a success!!

3. Strength train 3x each week, every week -I also completed week 3 of the Bob Green 8, week total Body Makeover dvd that I won from Shrinking Jeans. I actually did 5 Bob Greene workouts this week! I feel so weak when I finish these workouts and I have been so sore! But I feel AMAZING!! Who knew sore could feel so great!?!?!

4. find and prepare one new healthy recipe (or food) - I am not sure I really accomplished this task this week! I did change my eating up a bit. I am sort of following the Body for Life way of eating. This week was a transition into the “clean” way of eating. Last weekend I went to the produce store and came home with a buttload of greens! I swear, I ate some many vegetables this week that I feel green!

What you don’t know about Jen…..

I am a picky eater! I have major issues with texture so certain foods I just would not even try because of the way they looked! I only recently started eating peppers & tomatoes! I hate tapioca and rice pudding, oatmeal bothers me and fried onions make me cringe! I love the smell of fried onions but will not put them in my mouth! I now will eat peppers but they must have some crunch left and I haven’t quite figured out roasted red peppers!

A Reflection on the last 10 weeks:

I have learned so much in the last 10 weeks. I always set out to be better in the new year!! 2010 truly is the year of Jen!! I am kicking ass! I am changing and becoming the strong, healthy, fanfuckingtastic woman I have always wanted to be! I am gaining confidence with each new “thing” that comes my way! I am challenging my mind and body!

Stay tuned!! This challenge may be over but I am just getting started!!

Keep on keepin’ on!!

Fleetwood Mac: Monday Morning

Go ahead!! Click the link and listen to the song!! Ya know ya want to!!

A Change will do you good:

This past week was very interesting! I decided to quit Weight Watchers. I have loved my meetings and I have learned so much but I am starting to waver with why I am at those meetings!! I have also been having a lot of guilty feelings. I have been feeling guilty about what I am eating, guilty about counting & not counting all my points, guilty about spending the money on WW!

I hit the cancel button! I canceled my WW account. As of April 1 I will no longer be a WWer. I feel oddly relieved about this.

Wednesday will be my new weigh-in day! I chose Wednesdays so that I can be in sync with Shrinking Jeans since I LOVE their challenges!! I weighed in at 192.4 for a 2 pound loss this week. I am just recording  the number and moving on. My success is not and WILL NOT be determined solely based on the number on the scale.

I am still training to run a 5K! I have completed week 2 of the Couch to 5K training! I actually LOVE slogging!! I call it slogging ~~ Slow jogging/walking is totally the way for me!! Here comes week 3!! I love challenging myself and this is the way to go! The kid is super happy about my running ventures. She is going to slog with me on days we can hit the school track. I am going to sign up for a 5K at the end of the training and when I can run 3 miles + I have decided to sign up for the Warrior Dash in Maryland in October.  This race looks like so much fun!! I am in training!!

I also finished Week 2 of the Bob Greene 8 Week Total Body Makeover. I love these workouts! They are short but powerful! I feel like I am getting stronger. I have been trying to break into strength training. I want to strength train and I know how good it will be for me but I am so clueless! I love simple workouts at home and this one fits the bill!!

I am revamping my food plan this week. I am cutting out more processed food and concentrating on whole grains and lean proteins and LOTS of fruits and veg! I am aiming for Monday – Friday to be awesome food days (now white flour, no sugar and lots of the good stuff)! This gives me the weekend to let loose a little but still make good choices. This will also allow me to eat without feeling guilty. I can record what I eat without worrying about a certain # of points.

Slogger training has made me hungrier than usual and I want to feed my body so that I can continue to make progress.  I feel like this eating “plan” I am working on will be better for me! I will be eating all the right foods, or clean,  80-90% of the time and I think this will allow me to break my guilty feelings about food.  I will be posting about this more often! I have not blogged about my food feelings very much because I am just now realizing I have feelings about food! I will come back to this topic.

NON SCALE VICTORY:

Yesterday, I put on a thumb ring that I have not been able to wear in at least 6 years! It is not tight either!! It fits perfectly!!

This week, I am going to ROCK week 3 of the Couch to 5K and week 3 of Bob Greene!

This week, I am going to eat so many veggies I may turn green! LOL!

This week, I am going to plan and prep for each day the night before (just like I make my daughter do before bed)!

This week, I am going to enjoy my life!!

How will you enjoy your week?

How did I work my goals this week?

1. Lose 5 pounds per month – I think I am only down .2 for the month of February but we will see what happens on the scale tomorrow. I have decided that I don’t really care what the scales says. Yes, I am curious but I will not let the number on the scale determine the success or failure of my week.  I am really embracing non-scale victories.  While I have finally set an ultimate weight loss goal of 100 pounds, I have decided to not set specific time sensitive weight loss goals. I will get to my goal weight! I am ok if it takes longer than I want it.

2. Walk 15 miles each week - I wound up with 10 of 15 miles this week. But I started and completed Week 1 of Couch to 5K yesterday! Go check it out if you haven’t!! There are pictures!! I am still grinning ear to ear knowing I finished week 1!!

3. Strength train 3x each week, every week -I also completed week 1 of the Bob Green 8 week total Body Makeover dvd that I won from Shrinking Jeans. I threw in 2 walking dvds and a yoga workout courtesy of exerciseTV.

4. find and prepare one new healthy recipe (or food) -Mission accomplished! I actually made 2 new recipes this week. A Pot Roast recipe I found on allrecipe.com and a Roasted Garlic Chicken recipe that was in this month’s Food Network magazine.

What you don’t know about Jen…..

I am camera shy! I prefer to be behind the camera. I love taking pictures and I hate my picture! I have always been like but it goes even deeper. I am a teacher so I should be fine standing in front of a group of people and talk like a normal person. I CAN’T!  I stand in front of rooms full of teenagers and i am not nervous at all. Change it to grown ups and I get all blabbers. I can’t remember what I am talking about or what I already have said. I am ok, if we are all sitting around chatting.  It’s not the talking to people that bothers me, I think it is being the center of attention that makes me nervous.  Those who know me in real life cannot understand this from me! It makes no sense! I am very outgoing and personable!

Random Thoughts

This was an awesome week! Setting my ultimate weight loss goal was actually quite freeing. I started and completed the first week of the Couch to 5K training program. I may not be setting any records but I kind of am!! A record for me!! I swore I wanted nothing to do with running! Now, I am looking forward to next week’s training!

I am feeling stronger (physically and mentally) than I have in a very long time!!

Click the link!! You know you want to!! Click and watch the Bangles!! I promise it will make your Monday!!

WEEKLY WEIGH IN STATS

Current Weight: 194.4
Previous Weight: 196.8 lbs
Weight loss: -2.4 lbs
Weight loss in Feb: -0.2 lbs
Starting Weight: 242.6 lbs
Weight loss total: -48.2 lbs

THE WEEK IN REVIEW:

The week started off with such promise! After snow days and chest colds hampering me I was hopeful that I would get back to consistent working out.  Big Man and I went out of town on Monday to see an awesome concert. I was in the car for over two hours but I think I made up for it with a half hour in the hotel pool and 3 hours of hippie wigglin’ (I don’t know what else you call the dancing one does at a Dead show).  I did not have my Gruve (it is currently broken and I have been slacking on sending it to be fixed but tomorrow it will go to FedEx) but my pedometer racked up 11,000 + steps while I was at the show.

Tuesday morning I woke up to a text from my mother. The kid had been up 3 times to puke! Oh joy! We drove home in very limited visibility due to snow. I spent the day lounging with a very sick kid. I always know she is sick if she is super clingy and if she takes a nap willingly. I swear the kid thinks naps are evil!

Wednesday I woke up and got ready for work like normal. I left the kid sleeping with daddy on duty. I drive 3 miles to get to work! In the time it took me to drive to work, mind you it is 3 miles away, I was feeling nauseous and overheated! I got into school ans lasted about 20 minutes before I was sent home. As I was walking to my car, the bus arrived. Don’tcha know I slipped on damn ice and went down quick and hard! Did I mention I did this in front of a bus of my students?!?!

Thursday and Friday I was feeling better and made it to work. I wasn’t 100% but well enough to be in school. Fridays at my school are workplace readiness days. We don’t necessarily teach academics. One of new classes started this Friday and I am super super excited about this class. I am teaching a Girls Essential Skills/Self-Esteem Building/Fitness Class.  Our first day was awesome!! We started some self-esteem building exercises. I am looking forward to how this works.

I did have some exciting things happen during this otherwise bleh week of sickies:

• The class I mentioned above started and went extremely well. The girls are “into” the class! A few of the girls even asked me if I would stay with them after school to work out in the gym (our school is very small so we do not have the gym facilities of a traditional high school)
• I set my ultimate weight goal this week!! After reading @amerrylife ‘s blog this week where she set an awesome super big goal , I decided that I also wanted to lose a total of 100 pounds. I have been himming and hawing about what my ultimate goal will be! I think my vagueness has only hindered me. 100 is a nice even number and I am almost half way there!
• I decided to sign up for the FitBloggin’ New Balance 5K! TO RUN this 5K! I am not a runner but I want to challenge myself to try this!! My goal for this 5K is to just finish the dang thing and run half! I started the Couch to 5K training program today.
• I was named Teacher of the Year for my school

I am looking forward to the week ahead! I have new workout goals!

• couch to 5K training with @FitinmyHeart, @damanlovett, @JeepJenn, @priorfatgirl, and @amerrylife [IF you are training with me and I didn't list you please hit me up in comments ~ I want to make a list (with links) for all me fellow SLOGGERS in training!!
• Start Bob Greene training with @fitinmyheart [this is a dvd with an 8 week total body makeover plan] Monday (tomorrow) will be week 1, day 1.

I will also work on:

• drinking 8 glasses of water every day
• remembering to take vitamins every day
• stretching every night before bed!
• track! track! track!!

Oh life is good!! I am feeling better! The family seems to be over the sickies! I am ready to take on the world!! At least, for the next week!

much love, Jen

My first post is about Walking. You can follow that link or just keep reading…

I have been on the path towards healthy living for a little over one year. Honestly, I walked into my first Weigh Watcher’s meeting because I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be skinny but I had no idea how I was supposed to do that. Fast forward to today and I have lost 47 pound and I am eating better than I ever have eaten. However, food is not the only piece of the weight loss puzzle. The other “F” of healthy living, Fitness, is equally important on this journey. I am just learning all about fitness and I am NOT an expert by any stretch of the imagination!

I do not have a gym membership. I do not have a personal trainer. I do not have a Wii.

I have a constant need to learn. I have a treadmill. I have internet and google.

Walking was my first break into the world of fitness. I have a treadmill but it was sadly underused until last year. Last November, my doctor suggested surgery to repair a weak ligament in my ankle. My doctor wanted to schedule the surgery as soon as I could but I am a teacher and my classroom is on the top floor and the bathroom is on the bottom floor and did I mention there is no elevator. Can I be honest with you? Surgery scared the $&*# out of me!! I told the doc that I would have surgery after school was out for summer. I had already joined Weight Watchers and was making progress but I wanted to be lighter and in better shape if I was going to have surgery. I knew I had to be more active but I had no idea where to start.

I had a treadmill and I started using it! Man, was I slow! I only lasted 20 minutes! But I kept at it. I walked and walked and walked some more. I slowly built up to more time and faster speeds. Winter around here can be cold and wet so I stayed inside. I learned to love my time on my treadmill. I faced my treadmill to the TV and I watched episodes of General Hospital on the DVR while I walked. I walked because I know how to walk. There is no learning curve since I have been walking for 30ish years.

Seven months of walking later, I went back to my doctor for a pre-surgery check up where we would schedule my surgery. Doctor was very happy about the progress I had made with my ankle. I had built muscles in my legs and near my ankle, my ligament would always be weak, but the extra muscles I built were helping my ankle stay stable. When I told doc I felt “AWESOME” he was very happy. We decided that surgery was not necessary at this time. I was so happy because I did not want to stop progress. The surgery had a total healing time of 3 months – that is a lot of time to be out of commission.

I loved rotating treadmill walking with outside walking but July and August were mighty hot so I needed to find a new way to walk. A bit of googling and tweeting brought me to Leslie Sansone and Walk at Home. Using my DVD player, I walked in my very small living room. At first I felt silly walking in place in my living room but within 10 minutes I was sweating and breathing hard. I was walking in a new way and I loved it. I now rotate living room walking with treadmill walking and outside walking.

I am still on my journey to weight loss. I have more weight to lose. I am getting healthier but I am not all the way healthy. Walking has been my main source of fitness and it has been good to me! I have walked myself out of ankle surgery. I have walked myself 47 pounds lighter. I have walked my legs stronger. There are tons of benefits to walking for health.

From The American Heart Association (and the Start Walking campaign):

Walking Toward a Healthier You

There are countless physical activities out there, but walking has the lowest dropout rate of them all! It’s the simplest positive change you can make to effectively improve your heart health.

Research has shown that the benefits of walking and moderate physical activity for at least 30 minutes a day can help you:

* Reduce the risk of coronary heart disease
* Improve blood pressure and blood sugar levels
* Improve blood lipid profile
* Maintain body weight and lower the risk of obesity
* Enhance mental well being
* Reduce the risk of osteoporosis
* Reduce the risk of breast and colon cancer
* Reduce the risk of non-insulin dependent (type 2) diabetes

There really are so many benefits for such a simple activity!

Walking is a fantastic exercise and I enjoy it very much! But, I am ready to add something new.

I want to be stronger and I want to transform my mind and body. Stay tuned while I learn more about fitness! Every week, I will be back to share with you what I learn about fitness!
Together we can get fit!!

I have told you before but I need to say it again:

I have no idea what I am doing! I am not an expert on anything but I know I need fitness in my life.

I have tried many activities this past year but I have not really had any sort of consistency. Consistency is almost the most important part for me to make fitness a daily part of my life.

Wanna know what the most important part for me is?

PLANNING

Yep, its planning!

I have learned that if I don’t have a plan I fall apart. I need to have a plan and that plan has to be written down. This year I fell in love with menu planning and have since learned all the wonderful benefits to planning my meals. I am currently only planning dinners but I am going to be expanding that. Planning my meals has helped my stress about dinner and has kept my family healthy and has also helped keep the budget in check. Every Saturday I look at the grocery store sales ads and take stock of the pantry and freezer. A menu is planned and grocery list is written.

Why have I not applied this to other areas of my life?

Good question!! and one I have been asking myself all week.

Wanna know what I did the other day?!?!

I am gonna tell you anyway!

Using Microsoft Word I created my own Calendar template and then made a January Work Out calendar, January household chore chart, and a Jen chore chart. I am a lazy person by nature! and I am easily distracted and I procrastinate way too much and while I have not been diagnosed I must be ADD. Last year, this list would have been an excuse but not this year!! This year I am know enough about myself and I have learned ways to combat “my evil ways” to be successful. I will be adding on to all the knowledge I picked up in 2009. I have learned I need direction and a set plan or I fall apart. I can’t just say ” I will workout tomorrow morning.” I need to say, “I will do KB squats and upper body.” I have learned that I need to be specific. I need to tell myself what to do and when to do it!! I need to pull rank on myself! I can tell my kid, my husband, and my students what they need to do. I even give some of them step by step instructions

I started thinking about this and came up with the solution of using a calendar. Much like planning a weekly menu plan I created a monthly workout plan. Saturday will be the first day of my weekly schedule. Saturdays are my Weight Watchers meeting and it seems logical to start my week then.

Saturday: 40 minutes on treadmill (TM)
Sunday: REST day [but also family day]
Monday: KB workout and RB workout and a 10 minute yoga or pilates workout.
Tuesday: workout dvd or 40 minutes on TM plus a LONG strecth.
Wednesday: KB workout and RB workout and a 10 minute yoga or pilates workout.
Thursday: workout dvd or 40 minutes on TM plus a LONG strecth.
Friday: KB workout and RB workout and a 10 minute yoga or pilates workout.

Check out my calendar: jan WO calendar.pdf

I am planning on working out in the morning! This means I have to get my a$$ out of bed by 5:30 at the latest! I will workout for approximately one hour each work day! I have left the weekends more free so that I can find activities to do as a family such as hiking and biking on nicer days!

I know I will feel better for getting my workout finished in the morning! I know I will not make excuses if I get my workout finished in the morning.

Blogging about this plan here with you makes me feel like I have to come back next week to tell you how I made out.

I have a plan!

Planning is the key to my success!!

Are you fumbIing with your workouts?
I urge you to come up with a plan and follow that plan for one month! I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to make something a habit.

I don’t know about you, but I desperately want to make exercise a habit!

Will you give me one month?

I will report back to you next week.

**This post can also be found at bookieboo.com